Psychologically, bad parenting skills lead to children’s mental health and development problems. Parenting for all of us is different, but equally difficult. Having babies is such a big event, that we seldom think about the reality of raising them once they are born. It is fair to say that we have no intention to be bad at raising our children. In fact, I think that most mothers and fathers think they are doing a superb job and they think it is supposed to be difficult so there is no way anyone else will do better.
Parenting may appear to be a personal matter. It is a parent’s right to decide how to raise their child but poor parenting has a serious impact on not only the child but also on society as a whole.
No matter what age your children are, parenting is a tough job at every stage. While it is very hard to comprehend what parenting style would work best for the kids, at the same time, the way you interact with them and the parenting style you use on them has a great impact on their personalities and future. It has a huge impact on how kids grow and gain success in the future.
Bad parenting is something that we acquire by not knowing how it is affecting our kids. Every parent wants their kids to be successful and responsible in their life. Where every parent has the same wish, not all of us manage to fulfill this wish. Even though every parent wants good for the kids, bad parenting gets in the way.
Before you go all judgmental on yourself for not being good enough for your kids, look around at the challenges that parents face while going through this phase. With these challenges, trying to be perfect is a long shot. It is impossible to be an all-around perfect parent, but it is never wrong to try out new things. Let us understand what challenges parents face, the signs of bad parenting, and how it affects the children.
Given the latter, the question to raise is how will you know if you are in fact doing a good job or just totally bad even giving your best. Following a list of things that once they are present your level of success is declining and you need to step back regroup and think about where you heading and what type of child you are raising.
- Do you feel overwhelmed most of the time?
- Do you feel you lose it?
- Do you feel your child gets the better of you?
- Do you feel you don’t understand your child?
- Do you feel it doesn’t matter what you do, the results stay the same?
- Do you wish someone can just experience what you experience and help you in some or the other way?
- Do you wish at times that you never had children?
- Do you feel like other parents are lucky their children behave much better?
- Do you feel that other parents have it easier than you?
- Do you feel shameful after every incident?
- Do you feel you are becoming a little abusive?
- Do you feel that your child is going to start to hate you for being the way you are?
- Do you regret being a mom?
- Do you blame your spouse for not helping?
More than 7 ticks indicates that you are not winning your parenting battle and that is fine, in the end, life is about awareness. The greater your awareness the better your chances of setting better boundaries in becoming a better parent.
Parenting has a lot to do with instinct the rest has to do with understanding your child’s cognitive abilities as well as what is normal in the stage he or she is in. In the end, if you realize that all you need to be a better parent is first within you and second just to be informed and reminded of what is important in the different phases and levels of your child’s development. It all adds up to having the best set of skills to apply in raising your children. Most of us only became aware of the pitfalls by the time we have our second child.
Book a private one-on-one session the first introduction session of 20 minutes is free thereafter you can decide if you would like for me to help you with empowering basic skills and information that most parents are not aware off. As a mother we only start to question the world of our kids when we struggle. and equip you to be the mother you want to be and most of all create a positive space for your child to develop in the best possible way.
Online assistance when you need it the most!! NOW – Email me privately at nannyvibes@grownups.co.za
